I was in love with this world. I just valued everything in it; the time that passed us by, the moments of truth, the beauty of a storm, the intensity of the night stars…all of it. I’d got so much love in me, and I’d give it freely for this world. No matter how menacing the world was right now, I believed that we all had our own role to make the world better, and mine was to show my love for this world abundantly, in every little act that I did.

“What are you doing?” a girl’s voice asked out of nowhere. I turned and saw only an outline of a petite girl, since it was night and most of the schools’ lights were out. Quick, what should I say? I couldn’t blow off my cover.

“I… was about to do my sociology homework, when I realized that I left my textbook here. What are you doing here?” I stammered. I was glad that it was dark; she wouldn’t be able to see my red ears; they always turned red when I lied.

“Following you.” She suddenly grabbed my hand and led me down the hall towards the pantry area, which was still illuminated by the lights.

Now I got a clear look of her; her eyes were as blue as the ocean, her hair was as red as the flame…the freckles on her face were scattered randomly like the rocks I saw at the park yesterday. She was absolutely beautiful, and I suddenly felt self-conscious with my untamed jet-black hair, and my beat-up sneakers; I wasn’t planning on meeting anyone, you see. “What? That’s just creepy.” No. If she were following me, then she’d know that…

“You’re the letter-writer, aren’t you?” Darn it.

“What letter-writer?” I asked, sounding incredulous.  I hoped I did sound skeptical. Did I give it away too much?

“Just wanted to say thanks for all the letters you’ve written for us. I’ve no idea how you could use your words to make us appreciate life more; I especially wanted to thank you for writing to my brother… somehow your letters helped him back out of his suicidal plans…he’s doing well now, always reading your letters whenever he’s down.” She suddenly embraced me; she smelled like vanilla. I was too shocked to hug her back, and before I knew it she let go of me.

“What, no, I’m not whatever you think I am. I’m just a normal guy, trying to retrieve my sociology text book out of my locker…”

“Your ears are red, isn’t that an indication when someone is lying? Anyways, I have to go, send my love to the kittens you feed everyday!” Then just like that, she left the school, leaving me stuck on my place.  Why was my heart beating so fast? Was it the effect of someone finding out what I’d been doing, or was it her embrace?

I loved showing my love for the word, but not everything that I did, had to be known by others; I did it out of personal pleasure, and to give back to the world since everything that I had gone through in this life had been very decent, compared to some people. I’d been writing letters to my peers; in hopes that they would love the world the way I did and put the letters in their respective lockers at night.

After that night, I felt something different; I wasn’t thinking what I could do tomorrow for the world, but I was thinking about her. I wanted to understand what she had gone through, the way her mind worked, how she saw things in perspective… I wanted to know her.

The next day I started to look for her at school, and luckily, I found her. I began making conversations with her, taking her out for meals, hanging out with her… Turned out that she got curious with the anonymous letters and tried to find the letter-writer by giving extra attentions to the lockers at school, and she also had accidently seen me doing my loving-world little acts a few times.

She made me feel more alive, and my days seemed brighter. I was very happy; and she told me she was, too.

One day, I was walking back home from school and I came across the kittens that I used to feed everyday, and I stopped in my tracks. I thought back over the last few months I spent with her…all the smiles, the laughers…the memories we shared together. There was love, but it was for each other…I hadn’t given any love for the world. I let time passed me by, I did not appreciate moments, I ignored the beauty in storms, I did not look up to see the stars at night; I even stopped writing letters.  I had lost myself in my hurricane of happiness, and it wasn’t fair for the world.

The next day I picked her up from her house.

“I love you, you know that right?” I started the conversation.

“I do, you’ve been saying it all the time!” She laughed, but stopped when she saw my expression. “Why? What’s wrong?”

“All my love is for you, and there’s no more love left for the world. I’ve used up all my affection for you, and I love doing it…gosh I love loving you, but… this has got to stop. Ever since you came, I did not once think about loving anything else besides you.” My voice started to tremble, and I started to get dizzy. This was the hardest thing I ever did.

“What are you saying?” her voice cracked.

“I’m sorry I can’t do this anymore. I have to sacrifice my happiness to give back to the world; since it has been good… it has been so good to me, how it gave me you…even temporarily,”

And then we both cried.